The Bible, Divorce and Remarriage?
I am a christian married to a christian (protestant). My husband left about a month ago, saying that he is unhappy and tired of working at our marriage – we have only been married almost 2 years. I don’t believe in divorce just because someone is “unhappy.” But evidently he does, because this will be his second divorce. I think we have had normal issues/problems of early marriage and I had been working on so many things on my end for our relationship…but I never saw him doing any work. He went to work, came home tired, ate the dinner I prepared, watched TV and then I later learned, stayed up to look at porn on our computer while I slept alone. He was rejecting me for so long.
Our pastor told me that this was a form of “mental adultery.” But today’s society would have us believe that porn is ok and not adultery.
Since he left me and abandonned me…am I free to remarry (in the way distant future of course)? Or is it wrong in the eyes of God?
It is a tough question, I know, and I hurt for you. There are no easy answers. And none of us can see with the eyes of God.
Some Christians try to reduce the Bible to a rule book, and ignore the justification provided for us in Christ alone. Is it wrong in the eyes of God for a divorced person to remarry? Wrong in what way? Wrong in that He will take away your salvation? Wrong in that He will not bless a second marriage? Wrong in that He will stop loving you?
You say your husband is a Christian. He doesn’t sound like a Christian to me, not the sin, the pornography, etc., but the pattern of multiple marriages and what appears to be a unrepentant spirit. Walking down a church aisle in response to an invitation does not make one a Christian. Saying the “sinners prayer” does not make one a Christian. Being baptized and joining a church does not make one a Christian. Only God makes someone a Christian, and the result is always a changed life.
So I will not assume that this man is a Christian. In that case, look at 1 Corinthians 7:15. “Buf if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.”
The short answer, then, is this: Yes! You are free (as in “not bound in such circumstances”) and certainly may marry again if God so leads you! If your church won’t marry you, go to the courthouse!
I do agree that you should give this some time — (but you needn’t wait forever). Don’t jump into something while you are still emotionally vulnerable!
I’ve responded to so many atheists and flippant persons on this forum, I just want to say it is a pleasure to help a fellow believer with a genuine need.
Yours in His service,