What are the reasons that the chances for a second divorce increases?
I’m a 32 yr.old male (never been married) engaged to a divorced woman of 26. Neither of us have children. My question is….I don’t see the logic nor understand why the statistics say that our chances of a failed marriage shoots up from 50% to 75% at the very fact that one of us have been married before.
Am I hyper-analytical on these things? I sure am and proud of it. She says to base our chances on “love”…..I say there’s a lot more involved than just love.
I would think that a person that has already been married knows exactly what he/she really wants out of marriage the second time around…you know, “no more games” this time around. A person that has already been divorced now looks at the bigger picture of things….am I wrong here? I don’t see the correlation of experience vs. the stats saying a second divorce increases.
I’d like some advice from people over 30 please…..too many younger people jump into marriage for the wrong reasons…not all, but most.
I believe that sometimes people bring bad habits from a first marriage to the 2nd marriage. I believe immaturity, exhibiting same behaviors as well as refusing to admit their part in the failure of the 1st marriage contributes to a breakup of the 2nd, 3rd etc marriage. I also believe that sometimes God has a hand in it as well.
I’m sure you’ve been to enough weddings to know that the marriage vows include the words “until death do us part.” What people fail to realize is that marriage is a covenant, not a contract to break anytime they feel like it. The majority of 2nd marriages are not covenant marriages and are not recognized by God. Jesus specifically said remarriage is adultery.
There are no biblical grounds for divorce, period. Everyone keeps commenting on that “exception clause”…except for adultery or marital unfaithfulness.
I discovered thru my research that scholars claim that exception clause refers to the Jewish espousage period when Jewish couples, such as Mary and Joseph, were engaged/married but had not consummated the marriage yet. They have to wait one year before consummating the marriage. If one of the parties were to have sex with someone else and was discovered, then that person was stoned to death and the innocent party allowed to remarry. I have also discovered that a Greek scholar, Tischendorf, traced the Greek manuscripts and not once was the exception clause of adultery in the original Greek manuscripts. The exception clause was added into the bible in the 15th century.
Now that being said, God made marriage for life until death. Jesus specifically said that remarriage is adultery. The only time anyone can marry again is if their covenant spouse is dead. And only then can they marry someone who has never married before or is a widow/widower.
So what does this mean for the person who is divorced from their covenant spouse and remarried to a non-covenant spouse? It means they need to repent and give up that marriage. The same goes for single people who married a divorced person that left a covenant marriage. These people are in “legal adultery”
Mark 10:11-12 (Jesus) He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
Luke 16:18 Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery
Since Jesus claims remarriage to a non-covenant spouse is adultery, those in “legal adultery” will not inherit the Kingdom of God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God
The church is totally blinded to what God’s truth is about divorce and remarriage. There are alot of pastors saying it is ok to divorce and remarry. They are telling people what they want to hear, not what God’s truth is. Satan is taking alot of people to hell with him because of this.
If your fiance’s first marriage was to someone else that had never married before, then they were covenant spouses. If he is still alive and you marry her, your marriage will not be recognized by God and you will eventually get divorced. If your fiance’s first marriage was to someone that was divorced from his covenant spouse, then her first marriage was not valid in God’s eyes. If that is the case, then it’s perfectly fine to get married and you will be covenant spouses.