Cannot let go of sentimental object after brother’s death – advice please?
My brother died this past Christmas of an overdose. I am 18, my parents never allowed me to be close with him, not even talk, but I did anyway, just because he was my brother and I loved him. I was the only family member when he died who still talked to him.
After his death, I went to clear out his apartment and there was practically nothing, he lived a very poor life. There was some clothing, a few CD’s, a few personal affects, and a futon. I kept the futon because I wanted to be able to sleep on it and remember him by it.
I have slept on it twice in the past six months for two reasons. One, it is very uncomfortable. Two, it gives me the creeps. I can’t let myself let go of it though, I have very very little to remember my brother by and I feel as if I am betraying him or letting myself forget him if I get rid of it. I also think I like this object because it is big and demands notice. If anyone has any advice, please help. Thank you.
Allow time to help you deal with your grief. We all grieve in our own way, and there is not a right or wrong way to do so. Grieving takes as long as it takes. Talking about your brother will always make you feel close to him. There will be times, you will even think you hear him, or see him. This is how we process the grief that overwhelms us at time. Don’t do a thing with the futon until you are thinking clearer. The first year is generally the worst. The first of everything that he want be a part of to share with you. I am so sorry for your loss. He must of been troubled, but now is at peace. I am no stranger to the rain. We never get totally over the pain, just pass it. The more you talk openly about it and express the emotions you feel, it will get easier and easier. I too lost a brother to a overdose. If you ever need to talk feel free to contact me. I am a good listener. 🙂 Healing will reconnect you from your sorrow back to a happy normal life. You can count on this.