How to save it all, when the AFFAIR from past is exposed and facing divorce?
I had an AFFAIR 10 years ago when my husband and I 1st got married.
I’m not proud of it especially after all the work my husband has done to make our lives and marriage work for a better future.
My husband found out when the O/mans wife told my husband and showed him proof of the affair. My husband informed me I need to leave that afternoon and if I did not I would find myself in a real bad way.
Divorce papers were served that week and I’ve been trying to talk to him to tell him my side of the story but he wont even listen to me, and calls me a liar.
The affair was for a selfish reasons and I really have no excuses, I did not know the treasure I had in him.
We have no kids, he wants to split assets 50/50 so theirs no argument their, but if I lose him I lose everything that matters in life.
I should have told him but thought it would never come out so why hurt him, “STUPID MISTAKE” Honesty always for him, now I’m losing him why now?
He’s younger by 5 yrs. is this pride?
Good morning….First of all, didn’t you ask yourself this question…After all these years, why would the ‘other’ mans wife blab unless she had ‘other’ intentions? I’m thinking realistically here. It doesn’t make sense. If this ‘affair’ took place 10 yrs. ago and the O/mans wife knew about it all this time, then why spill the beans now? What was her reasoning on this. Was her marriage on the rocks too, to where she wanted revenge? Does she have ‘a thing’ for your husband so this is her way of ‘getting back at you and collecting her reward’? She must have had a motive for telling ‘right now’ since she apparently has known for some time.
I’m not going to judge you for being ‘stupid’…lol. We all make mistakes in our lifetime. Unfortunately some of us make ‘bigger’ mistakes than others do and regret it later especially when ‘skeletons’ pop out of ones closet per say.
Your husband’s pride has been severely hurt and scarred along with his heart. Some men can forgive and sometimes forget and others hold it close to their heart and never forgive and certainly don’t forget. Your husband just might be one of those that can’t forgive or forget, I don’t know your husband personally so I can’t honestly say. But I can say that he’s mad, due to the fact it’s been a secret for ten yrs, not only because of the length of time but because of whom he heard it from and not hearing it from you, this is where the (dishonest) comes in.If you had told him back when it happened you might have saved a marriage today. His pride is hurt because he’s wandering to himself on ‘how many’ more people knew about this affair and he feels like ‘Boo Boo The Fool’ right about now. If he has already served the divorce papers then I’m not sure if you can actually save this marriage or not. It might be too late if he doesn’t even want to talk to you. I know this isn’t going to help but things happen for a reason. It may not be a good reason on why things like this happens but there’s a reason for everything that takes place. I’m surprised that your husband hasn’t given you the chance to explain and it seems to me he’s in a ‘rush’ in getting this divorce. If he truly loved you, I would think that he’d want to try to resolve things, I’m thinking realistically here again, but could he be having an affair and not telling you and so this incident of yours is giving him the perfect solution in getting a divorce to be with another woman…think about it. It’s just a thought I had. Good luck with your situation and take care and God Bless!