How does communication change with marriage/divorce?
I’m doing a topic research for the influence of marriage/divorce on interpersonal communication. Answer to questions like what type of unique phrases partners have for each other, how marriage influences what they talk about, how divorce influences the way couples communicate, etc. will be greatly appreciated.
(I also plan to do live interviews with married couples & divorced partners, but this will help greatly in my research as well)
If you’re married or divorced – your answers are fair game.
Thanks in advance. =)
When you are married, you “fight fair”. The past is past. You don’t keep bringing up the same arguments, over & over or “hold” winning an argument over your partner’s head.
When you are divorced non-amicably, those rules seem to fly out the window. The past is brought up, non-stop. The same arguments just get louder, longer, and less pleasant. “Winning” becomes more important than ever. And the control battles (because we all have them) become more pervasive.
For most people I know who are divorced, though, the biggest change in interpersonal communication is the need of the “wrong doer” to vilify, devalue, and continually create negative drama about the party who was left. We are all pretty much in agreement (including those who WERE the wrong-doer) that in devaluing what you left, even if just verbally, makes the leaving & divorce less difficult to bear.